My writing assessment writing

I heard a whisper but no one was there, I tried to wriggle around a little bit but my hands and feet are bound together. I realise that they are cuffed. He tries to wriggle around a little bit more but they are stuck tight. It's useless. I curl up into a little ball and start crying when I hear someone shouting orders. Then I hear some footsteps coming my way, uh oh. Two big burly men stand in a doorway, letting in a flood of light that burns my eyes. They approach me cautiously as I look at them. One of them would be around 20 and the other a bit older, maybe 25. The younger one has short bristle orange hair and tattoos covering all his legs were as the other one had a complete bald cut and had tattoos all over his body. I start to wonder why they are approaching my so carefully, I mean i’m just a 12 year old boy, what is there to be afraid of. But I soon found out why, my grandma is standing right behind them. My grandma that wants me to be killed sever so badly. Your thinking then why are the big burly men approaching me so cautiously? Well it's because she wants to kill me herself, not with any slaves. She wants me to die in pain. The men are on either side of me now and start to bend down to pick me up. They lift me off the ground like i’m a feather which scares me a little bit. When I am at my feet my grandma orders them to uncuff my feet. Once they are done I they start marching me somewhere. I start to think about where that whisper came from when I see my best friend Jack hiding behind some crates of beer. He must have been the person that whispered to me. He was trying to save me. I realise that I need to leave a trail for him to find me so I started kicking the dust as I walk but soon realise that it will be of no use as the wind just covers up the marks that I make. I realise that the younger of the two men has peeled of and is now coming back with something in his hand. It's a muffin, not just any muffin it's one of those huge ones that are the size of your head, and it's my favorite flavor, banana choc chip. He hands it to me which I snatch instantly but realise that it may be one of my grandma’s tricks. It may be poisonous. She notices that I am hesitant and cackles with one of her wicked laughs. “Don’t worry my dear,” she says “it’s not poisoned.” “Ok then,” I replied and start eating when I remember that I still need to make a trail for Jack so I start eating it but every so often let a chunk fall out of my mouth. After a while we reach a shed which I am chucked into instantly. Pretty much as soon as I hit the floor I hear the clunk of the lock “Click”. I get and stagger around a little bit then realise that it is best if I keep my energy so I sit down on the floor and proceed to eat my muffin. After a while I hear the click of the lock and stand up quickly expecting to see the two men again or my grandma but no it’s Jack I rush towards him but he puts his hand out in front of me, I stop before him wondering what he is doing. We stand there in awkward silence for a while. When he reaches his other hand into his pocket and pulls out a knife and starts walking towards me. I start backing up. “No Jack you don’t have to do this,” I say. “Who put you up to this, was it my grandma. You know that you don’t have to do whatever she says.” I protest bt he just keeps walking towards me. I hit the wall and realise that I am stuffed he puts his hand up and stops and looks at me. “No Jack!”